Okay, so I haven’t done one of these before, but I really feel the need to. These 9 months have FLOWN by. I can not emphasize that enough. I’m going to just briefly jot down what phases and stages Hollings has gone through thus far. This post is honestly for me more than it is for anyone else. I’ve been keeping a “one line per day” journal everyday for almost a year now, but I feel like I really need to write a journal entry version to look back on and show Hollings one day.
Even though this post is mainly for me, feel free to enjoy it, as well. Use it as a guideline for what you can expect when you find yourself in this position. At the same time, remember that all babies are different, and yours could start crawling way sooner than Hollings started or way after, and that’s just fine.
0-1 Month
Wow. This seems like a lifetime ago, but at the same time it feels like yesterday. If you read Hollings birth story, you know that my parents and siblings were there for Hollings birth, along with Jay’s entire family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins included). But after the first two days, everyone left but my mom. She helped us cook, clean, bring me water when I was nursing Hollings (when I was breastfeeding what seemed like all day long, I would get CRAZY dehydrated), watch Hollings while Jay and I got some extra sleep after being up all night, etc.
She stayed for about 5 days, and then left to give me and Jay some time with Hollings, just us three. Jay hadn’t started school yet. He had about two weeks between Hollings birth date and his first day of classes. During those two weeks, Jay was a HUGE help. He pretty much took over all of the household duties. He got up with me for the middle of the night feedings. I was an emotional wreck (with both happy and ‘what the heck am I doing’ emotions), and Jay was always there to keep me sane.
When he went back to school, my mom came back to Durham to help me again. That month was such a sweet time. Thanks to the help of my sweet mama and hubby, I was able to really enjoy those precious newborn moments.
1-2 Months
Oh Lord.
This month was TOUGH. My mom left. Jay was in school. I was still averaging about 5 hours of sleep TOTAL per night (meaning sleeping 2-3 times a night in 1.5 hour intervals). Since I didn’t have my helpers with me anymore, it meant my blissful post-birth recovery period of sitting on the couch with baby snuggles all day long was O-V-E-R! I actually had to go all day on minimal sleep and care for a human child by myself. Dinner actually had to be made. Laundry actually had to be done. The bathrooms actually had to get cleaned. This was it. I realized that I am “mom” now.
On top of all that, Hollings was going through a growth spurt around this time and was quite literally eating around the clock. I’m not kidding. I counted one time, and I fed her 12 times in 24 hours (and in the beginning, each feeding takes about 45 minutes). I also wasn’t getting out of the house much, which can really take a toll on someone’s mental health. I was never sad by any means, it was just very tough adjusting.
I wasn’t only adjusting to my mommy life, but I was also adjusting to my new law school wife life. I knew I wasn’t going to see Jay, but actually not seeing him was worse than I anticipated. I had very little help with our very dependent newborn child, and it was really hard for me. I never resented him for it, though. I mean let’s be real, you couldn’t PAY me to go to law school (well, you could, but I wouldn’t do very well). I would much rather be taking care of my sweet, but needy, baby than reading 100 pages of dense law cases a night.
2-4 Months
This was a huge corner turn for me. Around 2 months, Hollings started smiling (like on purpose, and not because she tooted). This small, but amazingly powerful little smile meant the world to me. Everything, and I mean everything, that I had done for those past two months was all for Hollings, and that tiny smile made all of it and more so worth it.
This is also when her little personality started shining through, and Jay and I realized how lucky we were. We got a good one. A great one. We felt (and still feel) so blessed.
4-6 Months
More experienced moms told me that around 4 months was when I was going to feel like “I got this.” They were absolutely right. It’s like around 4 months something just clicks. Hollings was rolling over a ton, laughing a ton, but the game changer was that she wasn’t trying to feed 8 million times a day.
According to our pediatrician, you shouldn’t let a baby “cry it out” before they turn 4 months old, because before that point, they don’t know that they can manipulate you. If they are crying, it is because they need something. This makes it incredibly difficult to put them on a schedule. You can try your hardest to only feed them at certain times and have designated nap times, but if they cry, you have to do something about it (which usually means feed them or put them down for a nap).
At 4 months, not only did our pediatrician say we could let Hollings cry it out, but she actually recommended it. She told us that she did it with her kids, and that self-soothing is an important skill for babies to have, otherwise you’ll end up with a 4 year old who still needs you to in their room in order to fall asleep. So we did it, and yes, it was hard, but really only for one night.
We did the Ferber method, which had us going in to check on her in increasing intervals (after 5 minutes, then after 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and then every 20 minutes after that). Then the next night you start with a longer interval (start after 10 minutes, then 15, etc). When you go in to check on the baby, you can’t pick them up. You can only give them a little back rub and a kiss and tell them you love them. You shouldn’t go in there for longer that 1 minute to check on them. The first night, it took about and hour and 45 minutes of hysterical crying for Hollings to finally fall asleep. However, once she fell asleep, she slept through the whole night! This is a baby who up until that point could only go 3, MAYBE 4 hours without waking up at night. It was a miracle.
At 4 months, you can introduce solid foods. I think this also helped with her sleep, because a lot of the reason why she was getting up in the middle of the night was so that she could nurse. The solid foods keep babies full longer than breastmilk.
6-9 Months
6 months was another big corner turn for Hollings. She could sit up on her own, she grew two little bottom teeth, and she started crawling. This meant if she had to sit still, she was NOT happy. She no longer liked her jumpy, because she felt stuck in it. This also meant that she was much better at entertaining herself. If she got bored, she wouldn’t cry, she would just crawl on over to the next cool thing.
We did some serious baby proofing to our house. We got outlet covers, moved all of the scary things that could fall on her, we even put some of our furniture in storage. We also got a playpen. It’s huge, but she still doesn’t like being in there very much, because she knows there is a limited area in which she can crawl around. I try not to put her in there too often, but sometimes I have to cook or clean when she’s not napping and Jay isn’t around to watch her.
9 Months
First of all, let me just say that I cannot believe that it has been a whole 9 months already. I can’t write about what to expect at 9+ months, because Hollings has only been 9 months old for 2 weeks. I can tell you a little about her right now though. She is curious and can get into just about ANYTHING. She can pull herself up so that she can reach what’s on the coffee table. She wants what’s not hers (aka phones, keys, cups). She wants to talk SO badly and is just constantly babbling (her new favorite sound to make is “dada dada dada”). She has 6 teeth and counting. If you hold up your hand and say “high five” she’ll high five you. She is so sweet and SO cute. I am sad that these 9 months have flown, but I’m excited for what’s to come!
