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Things That Don’t Actually Matter In The Newborn Phase

I recently posted an instagram story about how I’m enjoying this newborn phase with Elle way more than I did with my other two (especially Hollings). I said something along the lines of “knowing what’s important and what doesn’t actually matter,” and then my DMs were flooded with new moms and soon to be moms asking me what matters and what doesn’t. Over the past 3 weeks I’ve reflected more on this topic, and came up with a little list.

My Pinterest Perfect Nursery Won’t Be Used For Months

We moved states 2 weeks before I had my first child, Hollings. I was distraught over the fact that the nursery might not be “ready” before having her. I went to Buy Buy Baby a week before having her and bought everything I could get my hands on so I could have a real nursery for her. We didn’t even put her in there until she was 4 months old, so I wish I had used that last week relaxing instead of scrambling to get everything done.

I Can Change And Feed A Baby In Other Places Beside The Changing Table And Nursing Chair

I was so OCD about taking Hollings to her changing table to change her. Her changing table was in her nursery, and her nursery was on a floor by itself, so it was out of the way to go in there. I also was ritualistic about nursing her in the rocking chair in her room. I would even take her out of her bassinet in our room and down a floor to the nursery every time she woke up in the middle of the night, which made waking up that much worse. With William and Elle, I have diapers and wipes all over the house and change them where I am. I also nurse wherever I am when Elle’s hungry. There’s no set “spot” where I go to nurse her.

I Don’t Have To Change The Baby’s Diaper Every Time She Wakes Up At Night

The nurses in the hospital had me thinking I needed to be changing Hollings’ diaper every time she woke up at night to nurse. I watched a YouTube video after Hollings was already sleeping through the night where an experienced mom said “don’t change your baby’s diaper in the middle of the night – it will make it miserable for both of you.” So you better believe by the time William came along, I was not about to be changing his diaper all throughout the night. If I know for sure Elle has a dirty diaper, I of course change it, but I’m not changing every little pee pee diaper all night long.

I’m Not Waking My Baby Up To Feed Her In The Middle Of The Night

Let me be clear and say that I am NOT recommending this, especially if your doctor told you to do otherwise. This is just what I did this time around. If you didn’t already know, babies lose weight the first week after birth, and have to gain it back by nursing at least every 3 hours. I woke my first two up every 3 hours in the middle of the night (on the rare occasion they even lasted 3 hours sleeping), per doctors orders. This time around I didn’t do that. If she slept 4 or 5 hours in a row at night, I let her and I enjoyed it. Because guess what. If she slept for a 5 hour chunk, the next chunk was typically about 2 hours. So I figured it evened out anyway. I also knew my other two had no issues gaining weight and got back to their birth weight very quickly after losing it that first week. Between Elle’s two day old check up and her two week old check up, she gained 14oz and was ABOVE her birth weight. On top of that, I was well rested, so I’d say it was the right choice for us.

I’m Not Pumping Between Feedings

A lactation consultant recommended I pump between feedings to get my supply up when I had Hollings. Turns my supply was just fine, and I’m a stay at home mom, so I didn’t need to store breastmilk. But being a new mom and having no idea what I was doing, I pumped between feedings for the first 3 or 4 weeks. Between feeding every 2 hours, pumping in between that, and cleaning the breast pump parts, I truly didn’t have any time for anything not breast milk related. It was absolutely terrible. I’m currently a month postpartum and haven’t even touched my breast pump.

I Might Have To Do Things While Holding The Baby, And That’s Okay

I remember calling my mom when Hollings was a newborn and saying things like “Hollings didn’t let me put her down all day, I didn’t even eat anything until 1 in the afternoon!” or “Hollings will only nap in my arms, I don’t even have the freedom to make my bed!” I laugh at that version of myself now. I wish I could go back and say to her “You can make a sandwich with one hand…it’s not the end of the world.”

I think because I know Elle is my last baby AND I know that this phase goes by a lot faster than you realize when you’re in it for the first time, I’m just not stressing about it. I’m enjoying the baby snuggles instead of thinking about my to-do list. I know I’m tired, but I also know that in 3 months time she’ll be sleeping through the night (with the help of the ferber sleep training method). I’m extremely busy at the moment, but I know this extreme business comes in seasons, and that one day I’ll have more time for myself again. For now, I’ll be over here soaking in the newborn sweetness!