If you follow me on instagram, you’ve probably heard me talk about this before. Let me start out by saying that I LOVE being a young mom. I’ve wanted to have kids early for as long as I remember. I also know that there are probably many people who would give anything to be young moms as well, but sometimes life just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes we want something so badly, but God just has a different plan than ours, and that’s okay. I do feel very blessed to have had Hollings when I did.

I also want to say that being a mom in general is challenging. I am not saying that because I am a young mom I have it so much harder. In fact, I think that I might have it easier, at least in some ways. I have a lot of energy (something that I have heard older moms complain about). Also, (God willing) I will still be physically able to help my children with their babies when that time comes, like my mom can with me and Hollings. 

No matter what age you are, becoming a mom is something that no one is really ready for. It’s always going to be a difficult adjustment, and no one will do a perfect job. All of that being said, there are some challenges that I have faced as a young mom that are different than the challenges that all moms face. Again, not harder, just different. 

I’ve heard a lot of young moms “complain” about being young moms before and a lot of it sounds like this:

 “Ugh, I just HATE it when I’m out in public with my child and someone asks me if I’m the babysitter!!!!”

Really? You hate it? Because it sounds a little like a compliment to me. That’s not the kind of “challenge” that I am referring to. 

I was raised to never talk about money, but I do talk a lot about budgeting on my blog, and I feel like should at least touch on the obvious challenge. Jay is a full time 26 year old law student and I am a 24 year old stay at home mom. Like most mid 20-something-year-olds, we aren’t exactly rollin’ in the dough. That being said, we have been very blessed to get a lot of the really expensive baby stuff from family members at our baby shower.

I know that how old you are doesn’t directly impact how well off you are. Still, I would have to say that just looking at the people in my life, there is definitely a correlation there.

I would love to have a little extra money to be able to hire a baby sitter every now and then so Jay and I could go have a nice evening out by ourselves and have a break. Dates are far and few between these days, which isn’t all because we are budgeting. Jay is also very busy and having a date night every two weeks just isn’t practical for his schedule.

It would also be nice if I could be one of those moms who buys all natural, all organic everything. I will say that there are a lot of things that we have that ARE organic. We just simply cannot afford for EVERYTHING we have in our house to be organic. For now, Harris Teeter brand will have to do for the most part. Plus, I’m pretty sure I was not raised on all natural, all organic (not even sure if it was a thing back then), and I turned out just fine, right? 🙂

While what I stated above is true, it’s definitely not the biggest challenge by any means, nor is it the most important. One challenge that really bothers me is that I feel an overwhelming sense that people expect me to fail. I got pregnant with Hollings when I was 21. I was in college. I had only been able to legally buy an alcoholic drink for about 8 months at the time. I know how that looks, and I get why people might expect me to mess up.

For most people, 21 is an age where you’re supposed to be selfish and do what’s best for you. You’re supposed to go out and have fun. Luckily, I was already engaged when I got pregnant, so my mind had already made the shift away from wanting to party or be selfish. Still, when I found out that I was pregnant, I did not feel 100% ready for what life was about to throw at me. I ended up being way more ready than I thought I was.

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I remember. There was never a time in my life that I can remember when I wasn’t sure that being a mom was for me. This is what made the transition from 21 year old college student to 22 year old new mom easier than you would think.

I take being a mom very seriously. I look at is as my job. Do I have to get up and shower every morning and go into an office? No. But I do have to get up at 7am and change a poopy diaper every morning. Do I get a two hour break in the middle of the day when Hollings is napping? Yes, but that 2 hour break is usually spent cleaning the kitchen, switching out the laundry, and picking up all of Hollings’ toys. My “work day” also doesn’t just end at 5:30pm, and then I can go off to happy hour with my friends. I am “on call” 24/7, 365 days a year. I know that I am young, but that doesn’t mean I don’t take being a mom just as seriously as someone in their 30s might.

This brings me to the 3rd challenge of being a young mom. Everyone knows that having a newborn is hard. You’ve heard people talking about changing all the diapers and waking up in the middle of the night to rock a crying baby. For me, those weren’t the hardest parts. I feel like no one talks about what becoming a mother does to a woman’s mental state. No one talks about how lonely it can be. No one talks about how isolated you can feel at times.

There have been times when Jay was super busy at school, studying for a final or something, and I would not have a human adult conversation with someone else for DAYS (okay that might be an exaggeration – but really I might have a 20 minute FaceTime with my mom or a 10 minute convo with Jay when he got home from school and that would be it for the day).

This is where being a young mom is hard. I do not have a single friend my age who has a child. There is no one my age who relates to what I am going through. No one my age who really “gets it” and that is really, really hard for me. Luckily I have my mom who is pretty much always willing to drop everything to talk to me or hear me vent. I also have an amazing older cousin who has a two year old who has helped answer A LOT of questions, especially during the newborn times. 

I feel the isolation that comes with being a new mom, but I feel it double, because I don’t even have a friend group of moms my age around me who can tell me they understand exactly what I am going through. My friends are so so great, and always make me feel loved. I am so grateful for them. I am just in such a different phase of life than they are, which makes it hard to plan time together. 

My main point I want to get across here is that being a young mom is not as glamorous as it seems. In all honesty, there are many times where I feel very out of place. I love my life and I would not change a single thing about it. I feel so incredibly blessed for the way that everything has worked out. Sometimes it would just be nice to have someone to take our kids to the park with. Or friends who are fine with eating dinner at 4:30pm so we can be home in time for bed and bath time. Or someone to just talk to when I have had it with the temper tantrums and can come over and have a glass of wine with me while our kids play (kidding) (kind of). 

Again, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, but I feel like I didn’t fully expect some of these challenges before actually going through them. I know there are moms out there who can relate.