I’ve wanted to write this post for a while now, because I think it’s important. Now that I’ve actually sat down to write it, I’m at a loss for words, and quite frankly have no idea where to even begin. I guess I’ll start out by saying that I am an extremely anxious person. I have suffered from high anxiety for as long as I can remember. It seems to have only gotten worse after I had Hollings. Everything seems like a threat to my family’s safety now. I can come up with a scary situation in my head over the tiniest of things. Now, I’m no doctor, and I’ve never seen one for my anxiety, but I know enough about myself and my about anxiety to know that it works in a cycle with my OCD. My OCD causes me anxiety, and my anxiety influences my OCD. 

I also know that for many people, anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Luckily that isn’t the case for me. I can say with all honesty that I have never been depressed. That doesn’t mean I’m never sad or that I don’t ever have an off day, because of course I do. I’m talking about true, clinical depression. I also think it is important to go ahead and add that if you do suffer from depression, I don’t want you to continue reading this and think that I am belittling your depression or telling you to just “be happy,” because that is not at all what my goal is. I’m just passing on some wisdom about the way that I have always tried to live my life. 

I’m going to tell you all what my mother has always said to me, because her mother always said it to her. She says, “Every morning, you get to wake up and decide what kind of day you’re going to have and if you’re going to be happy.” Happiness is a choice. Your attitude influences your happiness. If you wake up and start making a list in your head of all of the ways that your life is going wrong at the moment, and how miserable you’re going to be all day, guess what. You’re going to be miserable. Instead, try thinking about everything that’s going right in your life. This probably won’t just happen naturally. You have to actively choose to look at your life with a positive prospective. 

Gratitude is your best friend. If you’re feeling down, think about all of the blessings in your life. If you’re bummed about school, think about how awesome it is that you have the opportunity to get an education (which is absolutely not a right, but a privilege). If you’re upset that you have to go to work, think about how lucky you are to have a job. If you’re down because it’s Monday, think about how The Bachelor will be on ABC tonight! You get my point. There will always be good and bad in your life, and there will definitely always be things that you don’t want to do. You just have to stay focused on all of the positivity in your life and everything that God has blessed you with.

Comparison is your enemy. I’d be lying if I said that I’ve never looked at someone else and thought “wow, her life seems so perfect.” But deep down I know that it’s not. EVERYONE is going through something, because that’s just life. That doesn’t mean that your hard time doesn’t matter, or that your sadness isn’t valid, because it is. That just means that you’re not alone in it, and there are happy times ahead. 

Speaking of times ahead, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of looking forward to life ahead of me. I have to actively remind myself to stop doing that. I’ve harped on this before, but I know it’s easy to think, “My life will be so much better once I … (insert: graduate, get married, get a job, have kids, live in a big house, etc). I am so sorry to break this to you guys, but life here on Earth will never be perfect. Ever. You have got to enjoy the day to day stuff. Enjoy lunches outside with friends. Enjoy taking your dog on a walk. Enjoy getting lost in a book while it storms outside. Even though I look forward to the days when my kids will be old enough to let me sleep in past 6:30 on the weekends, I have got to stop and appreciate my early morning alone time with Hollings. It’s not going to last forever and I’ll miss it when it’s gone. I’m sorry to have to quote old school Miley here, but it’s the climb, y’all!

Once again, if you do suffer from depression, I don’t want you to walk away after reading this and think, “Wow Leigh. Yeah. Just decide to be happy. I’m all better now, thanks.” I’m just saying that while I don’t know what it feels like to be depressed, I do know how it feels to feel down on life and unhappy with current situations. Just keep your head up and know that happiness doesn’t always come naturally. You have to consciously choose to be a happy person, sometimes. It might feel awkward at first, but just keep trying. Keep chasing happiness.